Another opportunity slipped by.....

Wednesday was my checkup day with my doc in the hospital for my condition. My usual seat in the waiting area was occupied, so i sat at another next to 2 ladies.

I was making some plans, thinking through projects on hand and listening to mp3 songs in my HP. The nurse spotted me and came to say hello. This prompted my neighbour to speak. She asked if i were a patient, what kind of medical patient, what disease, how long, what treatment, etc. And both ladies scrutinized my whole being and body as i replied. i didnt feel comfortable, much less to talk about my condition to a total stranger. I felt repulsive but i didnt want to be impolite and so my answers were just Yes, No and short sentences.

After the "interrogation" stopped, i paused to think why all these? Never mind if i were being questioned, i should have brought in the goodness of God in my replies or at least ask them back. I prayed a secret prayer and was about to open my mouth when the nurse called out my neighbour's name. As the ladies stood up to go into the doc's room, i couldnt help but notice one of them was limping.... in fact, her left foot is tilted at an angle. The whole sole didnt touch the ground. She walked with an umbrella as support and i could tell her other leg was also affected. She turned around to look at me and i flashed my first warm smile.

Now i understood why. From all the questioning, i deduced the lady has a sudden onset of disease and was caught unaware and it quickly developed to this crippling stage. I can see her pain as she struggled to walk. I can see her disability and discomfort and most important, her distress. Apart from the pain on my right hand that day (which seems like forever there kind of thing....maybe since church camp), i seem "perfectly ok" to them (btw, the other lady who shot questions at me accompanied this lady for checkup, most likely sister or relative.....erh playing detective here).

The point is, i didnt seize the opportunity to tell them God's goodness in my life when i had the chance. I reacted wrongly and felt offended. My turn was next and i was ill-prepared - no tract in my bag. Guilty guilty.

Why am i so uptight about my disease? I have my fair share of struggles. The pain that cripple me and render me sleepless nights and weary days may have overwhelmed me but i have never lost sight of the One who knows the future. Nvm if my prognosis will be like that lady in years to come or sooner, I should be contented and i should be ready to share. Where is the "Nick" in me? Everyday is full time service. Why am i able to share God's goodness to my brethren but not able to talk about my disease to strangers....to lost souls? What is wrong with me? Orientalness.... being a Chinese and protective about oneself? Sigh.... a lesson learned and i felt i could have connected because i am also a "victim" of this dreaded disease.

I will look out for her in my subsequent visits and God help me to be ready.

Alive and kicking!

It has been more than 2 weeks or so since i left my last print in this blog. Had fever for 2 weeks and thank God i am ok now. Not DENGUE, Not CHIKUGUNYA, Not VIRAL......in fact, i dont even know why. Anyhow, i feel much better now and able to get into the swing of things. Thank God for restoration to health and honestly, it made me appreciate every breath i take that is God-sent and to stay and keep healthy for the LORD to do His work.

Thanks for all who have prayed....:)

What is unhealthy now? My comp.... my windows.....dead for so long. Dr lowly has been busy with website so i didnt want him to waste time on mine. Surviving on mac side and i may just switch to complete mac usage in the near future. Thank God i can still access my windows files from mac and able to copy them out too. But my email in outlook... this i cant do.... :(

Hmmm.... just read Carol's blog about the Venice trip. Left a comment there. I love water taxis and i must agree to all the romance in the air at that part of the earth. You dont have to be in love to feel it. You just need to be there.....

Talking about big squares.... i remember the recent one i went to in Greece with my family. Dr Lowly was busy snapping pics, Rachel & Iz playing around somewhere (yah, playing and scaring the pigeons away) and this group of ang moh ladies came up to me asking if i am from the acrobat group that is performing in the night! I didnt believe what i just heard and it was truly comical..... can you fancy me jumping and flipping around???? Nah..... But what intrigued me was why me? It should have been Rachel coz she tied two pleats that morning. Perhaps i looked too Chinese that day or resemble some great acrobat of the east....lol!

This brings to mind another mixup in Phuket. Warunee and I were at this Coral island for 2 nights. We spend one evening watching sunset by the beach with guitar in our hands and singing. We were actually seated next to our little chalet that we booked to stay. It was sea-front and simple awesome. Anyhow, some angmohs passed by and heard our playing and singing. They couldnt resist but asked if we were the new band coming to play at the restaurant later on in the evening! LOL! We were singing hymns and choruses and what in the world made them think we were from a girl's band??? Strange.... but we soon got the answer for this mystery. Apparently, this couple booked a 2-week stay in this island and it really can be very quiet in the night there. There is a man playing and singing at the restaurant every night and it is almost the same songs all over again. I guess they were bored and thought we were the new band in town.

Wow....one more mixup before i sign off. Went to purchase my guitar in Yamaha (probably 3 years back???) and this man doing promotion followed me as i looked around. I happened to peep at the electric guitar section and he started talking more lively. He kept telling me how good they are and why i must buy them. Then he did the ultimate. Took one PINK electric guitar and shoved to me to play.....saying it compliment me well. Haha..... do i look like a rocker girl? Oh boy.....i was so "scared" let alone "embarassed"... coz i never know how to play one and simply terrified. And PINK?????

It was hilarious....good thing Billy & Warunee were there to help me out. He took over the PINKY and started playing duet with the man. They jammed over Amazing Grace in the blues.... Me, i was just so glad he didnt press me to play or buy one.

Back to reality..... Charity's leaving for US tonight but Carol is coming back.... so yeah!

Short Getaway

Just returned from a 3D2N vacation from????

PULAI SPRINGS!

Haha....yah i know what you are going to ask, "Dont you ever get sick of it?" kind of remark. Oh well, do you remember the night when GM & F&B Mgr came to apologize? F&B Mgr gave us RM210 cash vouchers to return to eat at the Qing Palace Restaurant......voted and awarded as Malaysia's BEST Chinese restaurant. So, 3 couples, Seah, Goh & Low decided to drive in and use up the vouchers.

The Seahs came to pick us at 12noon but we weren't ready. I needed to write some cheques to make payment for some home bills. Lowly was trying to back up and shut down his laptop. We then heard the famous Volvo HORN HORN HORN HORN HORN and so had to speed things up. In the rush, i forgot to bring a pair of long pants, face wash and hair spray. Lowly? He didnt wait for the laptop to shut down properly and close the lid. Only knew the damage when we reached Pulai Springs. He couldnt power it up....it CRASHED!

We went to have lunch at the Swee Kee Chicken Rice stall (ate previously after session retreat). Lowly's conclusion is nothing spectacular except for the fragrant rice. Anyhow, it was a good feed to famished souls at 1.30pm. But i must say the lime juice with prune is ever so refreshing.....slurp! :)

Hmmmm, we reached hotel just after 2pm. Duty mgr Benny was there to greet us. And so did the Resident Mgr... Mr Rudy (first time meeting him). Mike, the GM, popped by too. He was very nice and told us he has upgraded us to studio suites and remarked, "The whole resort knows you are coming"......heehee.....kind of made me felt like a VIP that instance.....not a bad feeling though ;)

Rev Pang & his 2 sons came with Peter upon our invitation. They needed to learn how to update and maintain website from lowly before pastor fly back to Guam on friday. So Wed afternoon was working time for lowly. I needed to finish the Mandarin service promotional card design and so i didnt do any recreational activities. The seahs went for a swim at 5 plus. Sheena went to the gym and Peter went to try out the buggy or driving range (i think).

I created a mystery and problem but couldnt solve it. What was it? Read on.

Had to download a pic file from internet (purchasing it with credits) and it was a huge one.... the highest resolution possible and it was 23MB! Clicked download and save. It took about 5 mins for the download to be completed (using Amy's laptop coz mine couldnt connect to internet). Thereafter, i saw the pic file open up with adobe software. I clicked to close it thinking i can locate it using windows explorer and transfer out of Amy's laptop to mine. Lo and behold, i couldnt. Searched frantically her whole comp and couldnt find. Used the explorer search function and decided to let it search thro dinner time and see good news upon return.

We went for a good dinner at the Qing Palace. Used up the vouchers and topped up with another 70RM. Loved the Camphor duck dish. Had a round of jokes and riddles from lowly, elderly seah & the reverend golf. We then drove out to eat durian. It was almost 9pm and the stall remained open. The seller remembered seah & goh and ME! He called out my name (hahaha, i couldnt remember his tho). Durian price shot up to RM6 per kg due to end-of-season and we bought 5. It was good. But i couldnt really enjoy because i was running a fever.

I was down with low-grade fever on Monday night (had it while on the way to Adults NTM meeting). Came home with fever after Tues night prayer meeting. And now fever in Malaysia. Felt sick and cold. Ate one seed and called it a day. The rest were enjoying the fruit and we had rambutans too. Lowly didnt eat a single seed due to his younger days experience (he will tell his story in his soon-to-publish book on his life.....erh....patiently wait for it to be written and completed). En Yang & En Hong ate and ate. Rev Pang too. Oh my, they are serious durian addicts (my conclusion).

Our night ended with the video on Nick, the man without limbs (my 3rd time watching and never get tired of it). Was once again reminded that we should live daily as if we are in full time ministry. How true it is. Nick's story touches my heart in more ways than you can imagine and when it is more appropriate, will share this online.

Didnt sleep well at all but could survive. Went down to 2nd level cafeteria for breakfast at 9am (meeting time for all of us). No one was there...... i dont mean just my people. I meant NO ONE (hotel guests). I was amused. My first to eat alone. My first to take food without queuing. My first to pick and choose at my own pace. I felt the whole feast and spread was just meant for me..... hehehehehe! The waiters & waitresses treated me like "Big Shot" coz i was their one and only customer at that point. My 7min royal treatment ended when the seahs strolled in. Then everyone else came and we had blessed fellowship over breakfast.

The sky darkened and rain came. It was pouring. Eld Seah gave this riddle "What is worst than raining cats and dogs?"

What is your answer? Think before you scroll down (btw, I couldnt think of any so i said "Raining elephants"......lols.....dumb).

"Hailing taxis and buses"............hahahahahaha...... got the joke?

Rev Pang & his sons had to leave us that morning. Arranged a taxi to bring them to causeway and thereafter they will take a bus into Singapore and then a cab. Peter went off for a golf game without lowly coz the latter had to train the Pangs till 3am and didnt sleep much. 5 of us had a good time of fellowship, brunching with rambutans and some snacks Sheena brought. I was hungry at 1.30pm and so i made a room service order.... the Pulai Burger. It was huge but tasted a bit funny, as in a little sour and weird. Certified by the seah chef that it was in good condition and so i ate half of it. Everyone ate the fries and salad. No one else wanted a full meal then.

Oh yes, need to reveal the mystery of missing file. It wasnt in Amy's comp. I knew then if i needed to finish the card design and email to printer to print for it to be ready and distributed this Sunday, i had to call for help, Dr.com. Lowly was summoned to Amy's room. He did an intelligent search.....*bmp. I searched under Picture file and according to him, it would only search for jpeg. Given a tinge of hope to find the file (it cost us $7 for this pic), i proceeded to download my emails and opened my MSN to chat. Alas, it wasnt so.

My supposedly downloaded pic was never found!!! Lowly diagnosed i didnt actually download the file or rather failed download. I was adamant about this.....how could i not downloaded properly? Me, a frequent user who download stuff from internet.....simple steps like this could not go wrong. But the fact after search......pic was never in Amy's comp in the first place hit hard on my face. AAAHHHHH....... And so i humbly admitted i could have clicked OPEN instead of SAVE and when it opened with Adobe software, i closed it and lose it forever......sigh...... He downloaded one more time for me (free download of the same file within 24hours of the first download). Sigh... why didnt he tell me the night before!!! I could have done that and not cracked my brain so hard. And so, the mystery was solved. My stupid mistake that cost so much time wasted and some human energy and brain cells too.

Thank God i could work on it straightaway and by late afternoon, send the design to printer. Whew!


Some went to swim in the evening but it was extremely cold for me. I chose to read a book instead but only managed 3 pages.... pathetic creature. Our night dinner was at Qing Palace and i requested for Camphor Duck once more. It was good. We had some other signature dishes too. Seah chef, the expert, made all the orders.

My fever didnt return that night and though this is one mystery i couldnt solve (no cough, no runny nose, no other symptoms), thank God it went away.

Slept early that night. Returned to cafeteria at 9am the next morning and found myself alone once more! Oops.... not really though. One couple hid behind a column to eat away happily.... so yah, i was the 3rd person. The rest streamed in. Apparently a church group from Singapore arrived and the whole place was filled with talking and laughing. More jokes at our table by the pros and honestly, nothing spectacular happened during our stay. But i must say it was good to be away physically though we were still very much involved in finishing our work and task. Dreaming of my Redang trip now.....hmmmmm.....

Lowly managed to revive his comp but he was faced with another "Disaster". Virus crept into his websites (companies, mytengah, saipan and the rest). He had to shut them down and solve it when back in Singapore. Was Pulai Springs server the culprit? We dont know.

Our closing meal was at this Wanton noodle store in Senai (sourced by the Seahs). It wasnt that bad but i missed the Eng Kong wanton noodle store.... best i ever tasted and now they are gone. Closed shop after 30 years i think. Probably on long retirement coz they had earned enough all these years.

Thank God for a blessed time together and the generosity of the seahs and gohs. Will i return to Pulai Springs again? Most likely. Why? Because i still have 1244 mins to spend for internet before it expires on 5 Sep 08! But i will request for a room closer to lobby coz the one i was given had low signal for wireless and no connectivity for the LAN cable. No one solved my problem during my stay despite my repeated attempts to tell so many individuals. And yes, Mike will get to hear this from me when he opens his email on Mon morning. :)

A soul lost eternally....

My uncle in Taiwan died on 31 July. I got to know of this on 2 Aug at 12noon or so.

He was taken ill for 3 weeks odd and had been in intensive care unit fighting for his life. He had pnuemonia and kidney failure, requiring daily dialysis. We only got to know about his hospitalisation on Monday, 28 July.

I tried to arrange for someone to visit him at hospital, to whisper down his ears the gospel one more time but i couldnt. Jeffery was back in USA and i dont know anyone else in Taiwan. Wanted to ask the church to visit him but i dont know which church i can ask. Then came the news of his death.

I wished i could have done more... and at lightning speed too.....

Visited my uncle & family in April, together with my dad, Rachel & Ci. We did spend time with them to catch up and most importantly to tell the gospel. But he and family rejected politely and they never did commit to anything. My dad was exceptionally persistent but his brother (my uncle) didnt want to acknowledge stuff. They kept saying they know......

I wished i could have said more...much more......as in place all the cards before them and say heh, you dont have much time (he was well then, as in able to walk around the house and go downstairs in wheelchair). I didnt think then it was my last to see him. When the woman came to the Samaritan well, Jesus cornered her and delivered the punchline to let her see her own condition and she accepted the Lord. I know it is a different situation here but i wish i had pushed harder....to the point where they get offended. It never happen. I was too weak......and now, one soul lost eternally.

Salvation is of the Lord, this i know. But i felt i didnt do enough. Perhaps i was afraid they got offended or me feeling embarassed... i dont know. I bit my lip in regret and cannot help but feel responsible.

Even from the time i heard the news he was down, i wish to fly over straightaway because time was running out,..... would have done that if no one stopped me. Maybe i am being silly and wilful....

We prayed but he died without Christ. I humbly admit and accept that God chooses whom He wants to save and i am not contesting this. All i am saying is i wish i have done more than i did. It is a regret i must learn to live with, together with other regrets in my life.

To be honest, i drove to church on Sat with a heavy heart and in tears. I couldnt even say beyond what i planned to tell the Yfers due to much sorrow. Here is a pic taken with their family. This is to remind me constantly and stir me on to reach out to more people for the Lord while He tarries. And i still have a mission... the work in Taiwan is not done yet. My aunty & her children and family.... they need the gospel too. May God help me to correspond in Chinese over the email and give me words of wisdom to speak for Him.

People you meet in your life may just be this one short encounter and then they are gone forever. The window of opportunity is there.....seize it and tell the gospel. Dont be afraid if they are offended..... Jesus hesitate not to tell sinners of their sin and the need of a Saviour. The least we can do is to testify of our Lord's goodness and ask them if they too desire to have the living waters.

Go and Tell..... salvation is of the Lord. Live everyday as if you are in Full Time Ministry.

READ AGAIN - The Unthinkable Post

To those who had read this post on 31 July, please read again. So muddle head of me and never write one crucial fact...... blah.....see what i mean.... absentmindedness. And yet when Amy emailed me, i didnt quite understand why she said what she had to say. Hmmmm...... I am that blur :(


So yes, please read again. Thanks :)

A Heart For China

China....1,330,044,605 people as of mid-2008.... the world's largest and populous country.... A country that should be close to my heart being a chinese myself and yet i havent been there except to Shenzhen (for shopping spree)....which is a stone's throw from Hong Kong. I missed the opportunity to go recently when Dr Lowly and Rachel went with Rev Kwan and Beng Kheng (i had session retreat then :( )

group pic outside tent

They visited the quake area in Sichuan... ground zero to that effect. Slept in tents... one for male and the other for female. Apparently, the tents for them are in better condition than the locals.



There were lots of sand flies, mosquitoes and even maggots. Rachel came back with multiple bites. Oh boy....heard of their one unforgettable experience - the toilet. It is huge and temporary. Condition? BAD!!!! Apparently, it is this huge space with many potholes inside. You go in, pull down your pants and squat to do business in front of many others who are also doing the same thing as you. And if you are in No 1 business (BIG BIZ), you get to chat and talk with someone while doing it. Cant imagine? You wont unless you are there. And the maggots and insects are all over the toilet...even at the potholes you are squatting over. I can bear with the insects but the humans and do private business in front of everyone......guess i go with pampers :)



This is the situation the people have to go through until they have their homes set up. It is very very poor living condition, hot and no bathing facilities too. I can only imagine what they are going through but not able to undersand in full scale.

Cooking in the kitchen area

But there is warmness in this scene.... the numerous volunteers who come to render a helping hand. Most of them from Christian organisations and they stay with these people and help them find meaning to their lives again. Christians are showing them God's love.....in practical ways. It is amazing... it is heartening...it is sooooo encouraging. What better way to tell the gospel than to show it? it is not faking here.. it is love in action. Just like Jesus having compassion on the people and wept for them.



It is so very easy for me to write here about how great is their love for the Chinese people and yet have not experience one teeny bit of the suffering these people have to go through. But i still want to write....i would have gone too if i could but i dont think i could have survived. Rachel and Beng Kheng did. For one, i would most likely end up with constipation and suffer the consequences when back in singapore.



What about us back home or anywhere in the world for that matter? Are we showing love and concern? First... do it to our own brethren and than to the rest. Do we have the capacity to love, to care, to pray and bear one another's burden? To feel the pain and suffering of someone or just rub off your shoulder as if it doesnt matter since it concern others? What did God's Word tells us?

John 13:34-35

"A new commandment I give unto you,

That ye love one another; as I have loved you,

that ye also love one another."

By this shall all [men] know that ye are my disciples,

if ye have love one to another.

Haha, i am humming this song even as i typed.....a new commandment i give unto you..... what lovely tune and words... actions? I am ashamed that sometimes due to workload, i put off caring, i put off love and concern. This ought not to be. May God help me to love and by this, all man will know i am His disciple..His child indeed.



Hmmm... please also pray for the spiritual condition of the china people. Most of them have not heard the gospel and have been praying to idols all their lives. Even with the quake that destroyed buildings and temples, they still keep the broken idols (bodies without heads) hoping for salvation and deliverance.


I will end my post with this funny encounter....as you should know by now, there isnt electricity in the night or rather poorly lit compound in this temporary shelter. Rev Kwan, the funny pastor (to me), came prepared and fully equipped for this trip...he knew the condition of the toilets and the smell that would be present. One night, he gave the people a fright as he came out from the toilet. What do i mean? Scroll to the pic below:

LOL.....pastor "terrorist"!